why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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