You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
