At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You did what with his pubic hair?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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