You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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