i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
