With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
