She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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