I can tuck mytits in my pants
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
