Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
