they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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