There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
