I just made out with a guy for $7.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
