he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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