I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I need water and some morals
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
