A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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