Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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