I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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