i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
