So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
