And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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