It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
