in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
