Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So much rum. So many feels.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
