girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize