Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You're like the curious george of whores
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
