Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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