know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
