I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize