HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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