is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
