You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
