i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
