Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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