she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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