i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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