I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize