My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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