I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
