if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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