idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Drake has all the answers
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
