Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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