Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
