The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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