thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
