he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
