And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
