Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
