do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize