Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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