Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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