idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
