Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
