the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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