Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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