he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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