I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
