I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
