it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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