I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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