dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
