There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
