she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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