Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
