Screwed.edu
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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