Non-Jews are for practice
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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