my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My pussy is not your playground.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize