In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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