...so i touched it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
