my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
