I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
