I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I looked at my own cervix.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
