Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
