I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Fuck appropriateness.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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