He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
as a side note pls kill me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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