since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
