Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
