and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
